


I Can Be Your Painkiller

by ierxv



Category: Youtube RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, My First Fanfic, Septiplier - Freeform, Slow Build, eventual septiplier, they're not together right away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:37:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7475466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ierxv/pseuds/ierxv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's boyfriend is an asshole and Mark steps in.</p>
<p>(they're not youtubers in this)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Be Your Painkiller

**Author's Note:**

> repost from my old acc.
> 
> enjoy :>

A loud thud echoed in an otherwise silent room as two men stumbled in, the other's back hitting a wall not long before a man taller than him crashed his lips against the shorter one's neck. "N-not now Tyler, I said I'm tired an-" his words were muffled by hungry lips, not bothering to listen what he was going to say.

"Mhhnn...- stop! I don't wanna do this tonight. I'm gonna go and sleep now, alone. Please leave." Jack pushed Tyler off of him, quite surprised he had the strength to do so. Tyler was way more muscular than him, not to mention he had the looks of an angel, light blonde hair that always looked good and ocean blue eyes that Jack once fell for. Nowadays he just felt fear whenever those orbs stared at him as close as they did now. Tyler frowned slightly.

"Come onnnn babe, I wanna make ya feel good," he growled, his mouth too close to Jack's ear, making him shudder. But not in a good way. Jack thought about his options; either he went along or refused and quite possibly got himself a bruise or two. He leaned towards the latter. Jack straightened his back and raised his voice a bit.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't want to! Let's talk in the morning, it's late, I'm fucking tired and you need to go!" Tyler didn't even flinch. He looked down at Jack and raised his eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk mockingly.

The tension between the two was broken by a phone ringing. It was Jack's. He quickly slipped his hand into his back pocket, taking his phone and answering before Tyler could blink twice.

"Hello?" he spoke. He didn't know who it was, he didn't look, but recognized the voice immediately.

"Hi Jackaboy, my printer ran out of ink and I really have to get some papers ready before tomorrow, can I borrow yours? I don't think any ink selling store is open at this time of the night so I'm kinda in trouble here," Mark rambled. Jack inhaled and tried to sound as normal as possible, which was quite hard considering his so called boyfriend stood so close to him their chests touched, staring at him.

"Y-yeah, sure, you coming over?" the irishman asked, an idea popping up in his head; if Mark was going to be here soon, Tyler had no option but to leave. Jack's apartment was about a twenty-minute car ride away from Mark's. Jack smiled faintly.

"I'm on my way! Thanks dude, I owe you one." Mark ended the call. Jack gasped as Tyler pressed him against the wall, hissed something along the lines of him not being done with Jack and walked out. Jack felt relieved.

Not long after that Jack's doorbell rang and he let his friend in. He and Mark had gotten close in a rather short time, they had many same interests and had just generally fun with each other. Jack smiled at Mark and noticed something.

"You don't have your laptop with you, what are you gonna print?" he asked, confused. Mark seemed a bit uneasy.  
  


"I, uh- I didn't come here to use your printer," he mumbled.

"What?" If Jack wasn't confused before, he sure was now. Mark sighed.

"Jack, we're worried about you." By 'we' he meant himself, Felix, Cry and Ken, Jack thought. "That Tyler guy, he seems shady. You've dated for half a year now but not once have you introduced him to us. Especially lately you've been really silent about him, it seems you're uncomfortable whenever he's around. Earlier today, when he dragged you out of that club quite roughly, we had a feeling something's not right. I've seen the bruises on you, like someone's been hitting you or something. I know it might not be our business to sneak on your relationship with him but I had to make sure everything's okay, just in case he tried to hurt you or some shit," Mark spoke. Jack didn't meet his eyes, not once during his speech. He suddenly felt sick.

"I don't-" he began but his voice sounded embarrassingly weak. He tried again. "I- I don't know what you're talking about," the irishman stuttered, trying to collect himself. "What bruises? I'm quite clumsy, I bump into things, it's not like he's abusing me or anything like that, you know," Jack tried to sound like his normal self. He felt like he couldn't function. His thoughts were spinning in his head, making him feel dizzy. He thought about telling Mark about his problems with Tyler but quickly swiped the thought out of his head. No way he was going to do that. Tyler would kill him. God, what was he going to tell Mark? He didn't want to continue dating Tyler but he didn't know how to end things between them. Tyler most definitely wouldn't allow Jack to break up with him.

Jack was shaken out of his thoughts when Mark put his hand on his shoulder.

"You can tell me anything, you know that?" he sounded so worried. Jack almost felt guilty. He nodded, not trusting his voice anymore.

 

The silence between the two was starting to feel awkward and Jack coughed.

"Um, now that you're here, wanna watch a movie?" he asked, changing the subject. Mark noticed his friend's visible uneasiness and agreed. He didn't want to be too pushy, he thought Jack might back away. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to isolate himself from others. They settled comfortably on Jack's black sofa and put the movie on.

Mark wouldn't let this be though, he was going to keep an eye on Jack as much as possible. It felt awful to think about his friend being abused by that guy.  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Mark felt himself drift slowly into consciousness as a slight weight on his shoulder shifted. He opened his eyes only to squeeze them shut again after the sun shining through someone's living room curtains threatened to make him blind for a second. After getting used to the brightness he remembered: this was Jack's apartment.

Mark glanced down at the body that leaned to his shoulder. Jack looked so peaceful. A total opposite to the nervous Jack he talked to last night. They had apparently fallen asleep during the movie, Mark thought. He looked at Jack again and almost gasped; the lower left side of his neck was full of blue and violet bruising, how had he not seen those yesterday? Jack shifted again, unconsciously moving even closer to Mark, if that was possible. Mark considered waking him up but decided to make things less awkward for the both of them and got himself up before that. Jack slumped onto the sofa with a small thud.

While waiting for his friend to wake up, Mark made his way to the small kitchen to make himself some coffee. He wasn't going to be fully awake otherwise.

Sitting down with the cup of coffee on one of the two chairs in the room he let his mind wander back to the marks on Jack's neck. They seemed painful, not like normal hickeys. He blushed slightly. How would he know? Maybe it was consensual. He almost coughed on his coffee, what the fuck was he thinking? It was none of his business. But he still couldn't bring himself to stop worrying.

He jumped a little when the front door suddenly opened and a moment later slammed shut. Who could it be?

The man marched through the apartment so quickly he didn't seem to notice Mark sitting in the kitchen. A few seconds later Mark heard voices in the living room and decided to listen. He felt a slight quilt in the back of his head for secretly listening to their conversation through the wall.

"The fuck? Why are you here?" Jack's sleepy voice mumbled.

"Don't you remember? You said we could talk in the mornin', now let's talk."

This had to be Tyler, Mark thought. Apparently he had a key to Jack's house.

"Oh... y-yeah."

"Or... we could skip the talking, we were kinda interrupted last night by that fucking stupid friend of yours. What was his name again? Matt?"  
  


"Mark," he stepped out of the kitchen. Jack seemed to be just as surprised as his boyfriend, both looking at Mark like he was some kind of an alien. Jack's expression soon turned more panicked, maybe he finally realized Mark had spent the night.

Tyler was the first one to open his mouth: "the hell is he doing here? I thought we had plans," he turned to face Jack. The irishman just stood there, staring at Mark and then looking back at Tyler.

"Um, Mark, we'd like to talk in private if you don't mind," Jack said, his voice a bit shaky. Mark saw right through him; he was scared, he didn't want to be alone with Tyler but he didn't want to disobey either. God, Mark had been right. That guy was shady as hell. For some reason he still decided to leave.

"See you later then."

 

"Guys!" Mark yelled when he arrived in a café he often met his friends in. It was small and cozy and there were never too many customers there so it was the perfect place to hang out. He sat next to Felix and took off his jacket, looking slightly exhausted.

"Hey hey hey, did you run here or something?" Ken asked taking a sip of his coffee. Mark waited a few seconds for his breathing to become even again, then told Felix and Ken what had happened.

"I fucking knew it. That bastard is actually an asshole," Mark ended his story. Both of his friends seemed worried. No wonder though.

"So what do we do?" Felix thought out loud, circling his spoon in an empty tea cup. "We can't exactly just go between them and tell Tyler to fuck off, you know. We don't have any evidence of his actions," he continued. Ken looked puzzled too.

"I can't just watch Jack suffer in that relationship, there must be something we can do," Mark spoke, anger audible in his voice. Ken smirked slightly.

"Does someone have a crush on our Jackaboy?" he teased. Mark couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Oh my fucking god Ken, he's our friend and he's possibly getting beat up right about now, it's not the time to be throwing jokes around!" Mark yelled, earning a few disapproving looks from other customers. He stormed out of the café as fast as he had arrived.

Felix gave Ken a knowing look and both of them looked kind of ashamed. This might have been more serious than they had thought.

 

"...so I don't want you to hang out with them. You're avoiding me and I don't like it," the blonde man stepped closer to Jack. He had a serious tone in his voice, one that never meant any good.  
  


"But they're my friends! You can't just tell me what to do and assume it's up to you what I do with my life," the irishman protested. He tried his best to keep his voice steady, he couldn't let Tyler see how scared he actually felt. He knew that he himself wasn't strong enough to fight the other man if it came to that but if he had learned something during their relationship, it was that showing your weakness to the other was the worst you could do. So Jack kept up his act.

"I've been thinking," Jack spoke before Tyler could say a word, "this doesn't work. I'm not happy. I don't think you are either." The shorter one gulped. This was it, no turning back now. It took all of his willpower to look at his boyfriend straight in the eye and not to escape, and he inhaled sharply. "We should end this now."

A sharp pain stung on Jack's cheek as Tyler punched him, then grabbed his wrist in his hand and judging by the tightness of his grip he wasn't going to let go anytime soon. Jack still didn't break the eye contact even though the entirety of his being wanted nothing else but to get away.

"You really have no idea, do you?" Tyler almost shouted. "It's not about what you want, we're together and that's fucking it. You're not leaving me. You simply can't. I make the rules and you follow them, that's how this works. You fucking ungrateful piece of shit, I'm willing to give you my everything and what do you do? You're trying to leave me for that Mark you apparently spent the night with. I don't even wanna think about what happened between you two," he tightened his grip more if that was possible. Jack opened his mouth to say something but Tyler didn't let him. "You're not allowed to invite him over anymore. That clear?"

Jack didn't know what to say, much less what to do. He couldn't look at the taller man anymore. How could he get rid of Tyler? He just wanted this moment to end. Maybe if he just once more played along, maybe then he could think of a better plan. He looked up again.

"I- I'm sorry," Jack almost whispered. Tyler's grip on his wrist loosened slightly. He pulled the shorter one in for a hug. For a moment they just stood there before Tyler broke the silence.

"I don't want to see you with that so called friend of yours again."

"Nothing happened last night," Jack spoke, trying to sound calm. Tyler finally pulled away and nodded. Jack felt relief wash over and through him, he wouldn't have to deal with the other's rage anymore for now.

"I have stuff to do so I'm gonna go now. I'll call you," Tyler kissed Jack quickly before the front door closed. Jack sighed.

This was never going to end, was it?  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


He had been worried ever since he left his friend alone with his psycho boyfriend. Even if everything was okay, checking the situation wouldn't hurt anyone, right? He started his car and thought about an excuse for his visit. What would he say? Just tell the truth, tell that he was worried as heck, or make something up like last time. He decided to go with the truth.

He arrived at Jack's house, it was around 4 pm when he knocked. No answer. That wasn't a good sign. He knocked again, this time he could hear footsteps from the other side of the door. Finally Jack opened and Mark walked in.

"Hi," Jack greeted him, a questioning look on his face. That's when Mark saw it; Jack had a big bruise on his left cheek. It looked quite sore. Mark stared at his friend, "is that what I think it is?"

Jack's heart felt like it was going to slam through his chest at any moment. He had forgotten about the bruise on his face and mentally slapped himself for it. Now he had to come up with something Mark would believe, great. He couldn't tell him about what had actually happened. No way. Just when his boyfriend had calmed down.

Mark waited for an answer but Jack couldn't look him in the eyes. He turned around and walked to the living room, hoping to buy some time. They sat on the sofa again and for a second, an image of sleeping Jack slashed in Mark's mind. He almost smiled.

"Mark, I don't want you to worry about me, I know this seems suspicious to you but it's fine, I slipped and hit my fac-" Mark had none of that.

"Bullshit," he cut Jack off. "You actually think I'm stupid? That we're stupid? Cry has seen you and Tyler many times from his workplace window and he's told me Tyler's behavior is a bit more than 'suspicious'. And don't try to tell me it's playful or something like that, I've seen it too. He doesn't respect you, he treats you like some trash he found on the street, you don't deserve that kind of..." Mark trailed off as Jack burst into tears, trying to hide his face with his hands. His right wrist was slightly red. Mark wasn't even surprised at this point.

"Hey, sorry, I- I didn't mean it like that, I'm not blaming you," Mark tried to comfort his friend who now looked up.

"Don't tell Tyler you know about this, don't tell anyone, if he finds out I'm gonna be in some deep trouble and-" Jack couldn't control his sobs. He'd kept them away for too long, everything had piled up in his head and he couldn't handle it anymore. Mark suddenly felt a strong urge to hug his friend and almost did, but stopped as Jack flinched away from him when he shifted closer. Mark looked at him with sad eyes. It hurt like hell to see Jack, usually so bright and energetic, so down and broken.

"I'm sorry," Mark said, not knowing what to do. After a moment Jack calmed down and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Neither of them said anything, the silence felt somehow comfortable as they stared out of the window.

 

They didn't know how long it had been, both of them in their own thoughts when Jack's phone screen lit up on the table in front of the sofa they sat on. Jack inhaled audibly and Mark read the text on the screen; Tyler calling. Jack didn't answer.

Mark had been thinking about leaving to let Jack get some rest, he looked exhausted, but changed his mind. He couldn't leave Jack alone, Tyler could appear at any moment. He had the key.

"Wanna come over to my place for the night? I was thinking you could use some company," the red-haired man asked and rolled his shoulders as he stood up. Jack seemed to hesitate.

"I don't... I mean, I don't think it's a good idea," he spoke quietly, as if the walls could hear him. "Tyler said-" he started but was once again cut off by Mark.

"Screw him and everything he says, you're coming," he insisted. He ended up successfully convincing Jack to come over and they drove to Mark's house in silence.

 

"Yeah, he's here," Mark mumbled as he put his phone on speaker and continued doing the dishes. Ken sighed and was silent for a few seconds.

"Look, I should've been more considerate, I didn't mean to mock you for wanting to help your- our friend," he said on the other end of the line. Mark put the last couple of plates in the drawer they belonged to and washed his hands.

"True. But let's not think about that anymore, I had to ask if you and Felix are free tomorrow, I thought we could go somewhere to cheer Jack up a bit. He isn't feeling his best right now," he picked up his phone and walked to his room, on his way looking at Jack who was sleeping in the living room.

"Felix said he's gonna spend this week with Marzia. He's with her so much nowadays, it doesn't feel like we're roommates anymore. I'm almost jealous," Ken said jokingly. Mark chuckled.

"So you like Jack, right?" Ken suddenly blurted out. It took Mark several moments to process the question.

"Of course? He's a good friend," he then said, sitting down on his bed. Ken laughed.  
  
"No, I meant to ask if you actually have a crush on him."

Silence. After a while Mark opened his mouth.

"No?"

"Really?"

"Come on Ken, are we in middle school or something?"

"Whatever. I'll ask Cry if he has work tomorrow. Night," Ken ended the call. Mark shook his head. He didn't like Jack that way, his concern was totally normal, friends take care of each other.

Or at least that's what he told himself.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


"Fucking hell," Jack cursed under his breath as the wind tossed his light green hair around. He wasn't one to care too much about his appearance but on this particular day everything annoyed him. Mark and Ken had forced him to come with them even though Jack would've preferred staying in bed the whole day. More specifically on Mark's sofa, which he had slept on.

"So where are you dragging me?" the irishman looked at his friends. Mark was about to answer but at the same time they saw Cry waving at them from a window across the street.

"The café we always go to? Creative," Jack said sarcastically and waved back at Cry. He hadn't seen him in a long time. Maybe his day hadn't been completely ruined after all.

"Well yeah, sorry for not taking you to Disneyland or something, you princess," Ken said rolling his eyes.  
  
They crossed the street and entered the café, greeting Cry and sitting down with him. Jack always enjoyed the conversations they had, they talked about what they had been up to lately, what was going on in their lives and such. Now it slightly felt like something was missing, probably because Felix wasn't there to crack a few jokes here and there. Not that they didn't have fun, they laughed a lot. Jack didn't give any thought to his awful boyfriend.

Until he did.

"Jack," Mark tried to get the green haired man's attention but it was too late, he had already noticed. Tyler was making his way down the street across the road, exactly where they had been walking half an hour ago. Ken and Cry apparently saw him too, their laughter faded off and they felt a bit awkward. None of them knew what to say or if they should just stay silent until Tyler had passed.

Everyone's gaze was on Jack's boyfriend when they noticed a woman walking towards him, both of them smiling as they hugged. Jack's jaw dropped as they kissed. Tyler took her hand and her smile grew as he said something that obviously couldn't be heard from the café. At this point Mark, Ken and Cry were all at complete loss for words. Jack stared blankly outside the window and the pair disappeared behind a corner.

Mark was trying to think of something to say. The silence became increasingly awkward between the four.

"I gotta pee," Jack said after a while, stood up and walked away. Mark would've laughed at Jack's bluntness but he knew it was an excuse to escape the situation. Which was quite understandable.

Ken coughed, "the fuck was that?"

"I said he was an asshole," Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "but I thought he only obsessed over Jack, he's so possessive and controls everything Jack does. Now it seems like he isn't satisfied with only ruining one person's life."

"God I wanna smash his face in," Cry hissed and Ken nodded.

Mark smiled slightly, "welcome to the club."

Jack paced around the small toilet, trying to collect his thoughts. Why were his hands shaking? Why did he feel like he had to puke? He didn't love Tyler, that was for sure. Hell, he didn't even like him! This should be a good thing, now he had a good reason to break up with him. Jack stopped pacing and looked in the mirror on his left, seeing the fading bruise on his cheek. As if Tyler's violent behavior wasn't a good enough reason.

Jack didn't want to make his friends worry so he exited the toilets, walked back to the table they sat around and told them he was tired and had to leave. They said it was okay and Mark left with him, Ken and Cry decided to stay for a bit longer.  
  
"Jack, don't feel shitty about that, you're too good for him," Mark tried his best to make his friend feel better on their way to Mark's house. Jack tried to smile.

"Maybe he got himself a woman because I made his attraction to all men disappear," he thought out loud, "am I really that awful?"

Mark didn't find the words to describe how not awful Jack was. "That's not the case and you know it. He's a disgusting human being who apparently likes to cause pain."  
  
  
  
Jack had left his phone on the sofa in Mark's living room before leaving the house with his friends and now checked it for any messages or missed calls, which there were many. All of them from Tyler. He began opening the messages.

'I wanna see you'

'Babe?'

'I'm coming over'

'Hello?'

'You're not home'

'Where are you??? Answer me'

'?????'

'Fucking hell Jack answer when I call you!!'

'Doing this on purpose?'

'I just left your apartment and forgot the key there'

'Jack I'm warning you'

'You have five minutes to call me or I swear you'll regret this'

On top of the messages there were 13 missed calls. Jack sighed. The last message had been sent right before he picked up his phone. Should he call Tyler? What would he say?

Jack decided to call. The other man couldn't attack him through the phone.

"Fucking finally," Tyler answered right away. Jack gulped.

"Where the hell were you? I tried to call you plenty of times, you probably noticed."  
  
"I-" Jack cleared his throat. He saw Mark in the doorway. "I was sleeping," he explained and a second later realized he had fucked up.

"What, where? You sure as hell weren't home," Tyler's voice began to grow impatient.

Jack froze. Why didn't he think this through? He started to panic, not knowing how to talk himself out of this.

"Jack?"

The irishman looked at Mark and then at the floor, not saying a word. Before Tyler could start yelling like he always did, Jack ended the call. He looked back at Mark who now sat next to him on the sofa.

"Why am I such an idiot? He'll beat the shit out of me the next time we meet," he spoke. Mark leaned back, stretching his arms over his head.

"You can stay here for as long as you want to."  
  
  


* * *

  
  


What. The. Hell. Jack's eyes were wide open as he stared at the ceiling, trying to turn his head so he could check the time on his phone but soon found himself unable to move. His heart began to beat faster and it felt like he was slowly sinking downwards through the sofa. Not knowing what to do, he closed his eyes and tried to calm down, as if that was even an option. His panic grew as he still couldn't move his arms, and it felt like his whole body was covered in some kind of electricity, shocking him here and there and making him shiver.

As suddenly as it had started, it all stopped and he sat up, still breathing hard. He looked around and wiped his hands on his pajama shorts, his palms were slightly sweaty. It was apparently 4:30 in the morning. He took a few deep breaths, stood up and decided to get something to drink as his mouth felt dry.  
  
He silently walked through the living room towards the kitchen, trying not to wake his friend up, but gasped quite loudly when he noticed someone next to the fridge as he turned on the lights.

Mark squinted, trying to get used to the sudden brightness and after a few seconds turned his head to look at the green haired man, "couldn't sleep? Sorry if I woke you up."

"Uh, no, I-" Jack trailed off as his eyes traveled down from his friend's face to his shirtless chest and from there to his arms, stopping at his abs. Wait, what the fuck was he doing? "I think I'm just a bit stressed," Jack looked at the wall behind Mark, he really hoped his friend hadn't noticed his wandering eyes, "I haven't slept well these past few weeks."

Mark yawned, "yeah. Try to get some rest," he said as he walked past Jack and into his room. God, I'm an idiot, the irishman thought as he took some cold water from the fridge. He sighed. It didn't mean anything, did it? Hell, anyone would get distracted by Mark, it was a fact that he looked good. Jack wasn't interested in him. He couldn't be.

"Well that was awkward," Mark whispered to himself as he closed the door behind him. He had totally seen Jack get distracted and made a mental note to always wear a shirt from now on.

 

When Jack woke up for the second time that morning, he found a piece of paper on the kitchen table and picked it up.

'I forgot to mention I had work at the repair shop today, I'll be back by 3. There's food in the fridge. Make yourself at home :) -Mark'

Jack laughed at the smiley face. The note made him feel like he was some 10-year-old who Mark had to look after for a few days. He was about to drop the note in the trash but decided to put it into his jeans' pocket instead.

The irishman looked at the clock; almost five hours before Mark would be back. Not that he was waiting for him to get back, he wasn't clingy at all, no.

He made himself a cup of coffee and sat down with his phone. The dream or whatever it was from earlier still bothered him and he decided to google it, and after a while he found some information about a phenomenon called sleep paralysis, which quite accurately described what he had experienced. He looked up the causes of it; stress and sleep deprivation were on top of the list.

"I guess I had this coming," Jack mumbled to himself, stood up and put his phone into his back pocket. He was about to start writing an article for one of the magazines he worked for but remembered he didn't have his laptop with him. Of course he didn't. Mark had dragged him here so suddenly, he didn't have time to pack anything but the most necessary stuff.  
  
The deadline for the article wasn't even close but he didn't have anything else planned for the day, so he took a bus home and started packing his stuff, including his laptop.

Jack didn't know how long he was going to stay at his friend's house so deciding what to take was a bit difficult. When he finally felt like he was ready, he remembered Tyler's texts; he had left his key here somewhere. But the irishman didn't find it.

"Looking for something?"

Jack spun around to see Tyler leaning on the wall two meters away from him. He quickly realized he had been tricked. I should've known, he thought as the other came closer.

"I thought we agreed when I said I make the rules. You can't just disappear like that, for fuck's sake. First of all, where were you?" Tyler hissed.

Jack looked down, "with my friends." He knew he shouldn't have told the truth but he was too tired to think of a believable excuse. Surprisingly, there were no punches or slaps, and he looked back up.

"So you spent the night with your friends? Let me guess, you were at Mark's place, right? I fucking knew it. You two have something going on, don't you? You fucking slut," the taller one's voice grew in volume as he gripped Jack's wrist again, Jack's bag falling onto the floor.

Jack didn't think of the consequences of his actions anymore. "I'm the bad guy here? I have nothing going on with Mark, I've said that many times, if you don't believe it it's your problem. Why are you so jealous? Funny how you don't let me see my friends but you go around hugging and kissing women," he spoke, not once breaking eye contact. For some reason Tyler still didn't punch him.

"Oh, so you know about that," he sounded way too calm, "I was gonna tell you. 'Cause you know what?"

Jack looked at him silently.

"I got bored with you. I don't think anyone would actually stay with you for as long as I have without starting to look for something more," Tyler's lips curved into a smirk. He still hadn't hit Jack and he suddenly let go of his wrist.

"You mean I can finally leave you?" Jack managed to say, his voice weaker than before. Tyler looked down at him and after a few seconds he was out of the door, his words echoing in Jack's head.

"I left you first."  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Blue eyes stared out of a dirty bus window as the vehicle made its way through familiar streets. They recognized every turn, every shop, every tree and all the street poles, and every once in a while they switched out of focus. There was a particular spot next to a convenience store that made Jack turn away from the window. A broken bench that still hadn't been fixed, it had remained the same to this day. Jack tried to keep the memories of meeting Tyler for the first time out of his mind but failed as the bus stopped right in front of the bench to take in a couple of passengers.  
  
The blonde had worked at the convenience store at the time. On one rainy Tuesday the irishman had tripped and fallen on his way out after purchasing some stuff and that's when they had looked at each other for the first time. Tyler had helped Jack up but neither of the two had said anything. On his way home that day Jack couldn't get the blue eyes out of his mind, they were just as blue as his own. After that he couldn't look at his own eyes without thinking of the other's. Without noticing it himself he had started visiting the store more often and eventually he had collected the courage to talk to his, now that he thought about it, crush. It had been so awkward from start to finish. He had asked where the milk was, as if he hadn't bought that everytime he went there, and the blonde had quided him to the milk shelf, as if he hadn't noticed Jack's interest in him. A few weeks had passed and they met again, this time outside of the store, when the irishman hurt his foot on a sharp edge of the bench. Tyler had offered to clean the bleeding wound and Jack had said it was okay and that he could clean it himself at home but somehow he still found himself sitting on a chair in the staff room of the store. Then, suddenly, the blonde had asked if Jack had anything planned for the night. He had shaken his head and Tyler had convinced him to go on a date with him. _A date._  
  
At first Jack had felt like he had been blessed with the best luck in the whole world. Everything had felt so simple, he had felt like Tyler was the one for him, as cliche as it sounded.  
  


That hadn't lasted long though. Soon Tyler had become more possessive, more jealous. He hadn't let Jack go out with his friends as often as before and he had been always asking where Jack was going, what he was going to do there and with whom. When Jack hadn't complied, violence stepped in, and that's when Jack really noticed it was in no way a healthy relationship.  
  
But Tyler hadn't let him go.  
  
Jack was shaken out of his thoughts when the bus reached his stop. He rubbed his eyes and realized he was crying, or at least his eyes were leaking. He stepped out of the bus and walked up the road towards Mark's house, trying not to start blubbering right then and there in the middle of the street. Why was he so affected by the memories? Why did they make him cry, for fuck's sake? Tyler could die for all he cared. Fuck Tyler. This should be a huge fucking relief, Jack kept repeating those words to himself in his head as he reached his friend's apartment and went in, and that's when he stopped holding back. He cried, screamed and almost punched the wall but managed to restrain himself. This wasn't his home, he couldn't start destroying stuff. He chuckled at himself through the tears. It wasn't like he could actually break the wall with his hands.  
  
It took Jack a while to calm down and when he did, he remembered the article he was supposed to write today. No way he could concentrate on that now, all he could think of was Tyler and the way he had treated Jack during their time together. Why was the blonde so nice in the beginning, why did his behavior towards the irishman change so drastically? A thought creeped its way to Jack's head: what if he himself did something wrong? What if he made Tyler behave the way he had? Was there any point in staying over at Mark's place now that Tyler had left him?  
  
A few moments passed and Jack heard the front door open. He didn't need to look to know who it was.  
  
"Honey, I'm home!" the red haired man sang out and closed the door. Jack knew he was joking but he couldn't bring himself to give a laugh so he smiled slightly, even though the other couldn't see it. Jack finally stood up.  
  
"Hi," he tried to sound normal, he tried to hide his terrible urge to cry like he had before. There was really no actual reason for his miserable state of mind, at least he told himself there wasn't, so he didn't know how to answer when Mark's face went from cheerful to worried and he asked what was wrong. Jack hated making others worry.  
  
"It's nothing, I'm just tired," he told his usual excuse but it didn't convince his friend in the slightest. There were dry tears on Jack's cheeks and his eyes were puffy and he was still holding back his sobs. Mark seemed to understand it wasn't the time to be asking questions, and he gently wrapped his arms around the other, trying to make him feel better, whatever it was that was bugging him. Jack accepted the gesture.

And for the first time in months he felt _safe_ in someone's embrace.  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Mark wasn't sure if he should hug the other tighter or let go and say something. Judging by Jack's steady breathing he had calmed down a bit from earlier but Mark didn't know what had made him so upset this time, so finding the right words felt tricky. He was quite sure it had something to do with Tyler, of course it had, he'd been the cause of Jack's dejection for so many times by now. The thought made Mark unintentionally tighten his hold, no one had the right to treat his friend the way that asshole did.

Right. His friend. Mark had never gotten to know anyone as fast and as well as he did Jack. They had been friends for a year now and the redhead already felt like he knew the irishman better than he knew his older friends. He had known Felix and Ken since elementary school and Cry since high school and they were very close, but there was something different about Jack and Mark had never really been able to figure out what it was, but it didn't bother him. He enjoyed Jack's company and it seemed to be mutual.

The hug almost became awkward before Jack pulled away. There had been a lot of inexplicable awkward situations between them lately, it made Mark question himself; was he just imagining it or did Jack feel it too?

"I'm sorry," Mark heard the other mutter.

"For what?" he asked, putting is keys on top of the chest of drawers next to him.

Jack seemed to look anywhere but at him, "you're constantly worried and comforting me and trying to make me happier and wasting your time on me, you even invited me over so I wouldn't have to be alone. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of this, I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for always being there for me, I'm really fucking grateful, but I feel like I'm being a burden, you know?"

Mark sighed. Jack could never be a burden to him, no way, not in this life. Not in the questionable next one either.

"I understand if you feel that way but please, trust me, you're not. It's actually refreshing to have someone else here, I might start talking to stuffed animals otherwise," Mark spoke, trying to get the other to look at him.

Jack suddenly chuckled, "you have stuffed animals? Who would have guessed!"

Mark almost defended himself by telling that they were actually brought to his room by his niece but decided not to since Jack was finally smiling and that was way more important than Mark's dignity.

 

"Hey, by the way, Ken asked if we'd like to join them tonight for a drink of two," Jack yelled at Mark from the living room after reading a text on his phone. Mark soon appeared from the kitchen. "I'm up for it if you feel like going," he spoke, a dirty coffee mug and a dishcloth in his hands. Why didn't Mark have a dishwasher? He was always cleaning the dishes which there were a lot considering he lived alone.

"I'm going," Jack said, getting up from the sofa on which he spent alarmingly many hours a day. He began changing his shirt for a better one and saw Mark turn around and go back to doing the dishes. A faint 'okay' could be heard from the kitchen.

 

They went to the bar by Mark's car, it was around 9 pm. Jack was looking out of the window, deep in his thoughts, when they passed a certain bench in front of a certain convenience store, and he felt his mood drop below the ground. He thought about telling Mark that he and Tyler had broken up but he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. Besides, he wanted this night to be fun now that no one was bombing him with calls and text messages, and he didn't feel like talking about it, it would be too serious of a topic for now. He wanted to spend time with his friends without anyone prying on what he was doing. So he pushed the thought of Tyler out of his head and turned slightly on his seat to look at Mark.

"Thanks for putting up with me," the irishman spoke.

Mark glanced at him, smiling, "anytime."

 

Cry was waiting for them outside of the building and waved as the two walked closer.

"Hey, what's up?" he sounded like he'd already had something to drink. He guided them through the crowd to the table where Felix and Ken were already sitting. It took them a while to notice Marzia there too, and they greeted her, trying to make her feel welcome. She hadn't really come anywhere with them before, it must've taken a lot of convincing and flowers from Felix to drag her here.

Jack didn't take much part in the conversation. Despite his efforts to mentally throw Tyler straight to Hell he still found himself thinking about the blonde, and he wanted to punch himself for not being able to forget. He felt a lump forming in his throat and no matter how hard he tried to listen to the others, it wasn't a good enough distraction. His anxiety grew and he stood up, heading towards the toilets. He wasn't going to cry in front of everyone. The loud thumping music didn't make the situation any better.  
  
"Fuck you and everything you did to me," Jack hissed through his teeth and opened the door to the toilets, only to walk straight into someone. He mumbled a quiet 'sorry' and was about to pass the stranger but froze in place as he looked up. _Fucking hell fuck no not now fuck._  
  
"Whoa, look who's here," the familiar, piercing blue eyes stared down at him. Jack felt like if he said anything, his voice would betray him. He was so angry at himself. He was about to cry, for fuck's sake, why was he so weak all the time? He couldn't break in front of the taller man, that wasn't an option. Tyler shook his head and smirked mockingly, "still so pathetic. Did I hurt you that much by leaving you? I thought you were just _dying_ to get away from me." He closed the door and yanked Jack by the collar of his shirt, dragging him away from the toilets to a less crowded corner of the room.  
  
"Guess what?" he spoke and let go of Jack but didn't leave much room for him to leave either. "The feeling was mutual. Did you actually think I liked you?" Jack just stood in silence. Partly because he didn't want to provoke the other, partly because he didn't know what to say. "Because I didn't. I wish I hadn't wasted my time like that. And that Mark you seem to like so much," Tyler glanced over the crowd at the table Jack's friends were chatting around, "he won't be satisfied with you either. It may seem like he wants to be with you or whatever but you know what will eventually happen. He'll start wanting something more. You'll never be enough."  
  
The irishman wanted to say something to shut the other's mouth but couldn't come up with anything. He gulped. He felt like he had to puke, just like that time in the café the other day, and he felt his tears begin to fall, and he cursed at himself mentally, this couldn't happen. Before the taller one could comment on Jack's crying he managed to push the other aside and leave the place. He had to get some fresh air, he felt like he was going to either puke or suffocate if he stayed inside for any longer.  
  
  
  
"Where did Jack go?" Ken began to wonder after a while. They hadn't really thought much about it when Jack had left the table, they thought he was just going to get a drink or go to the toilets but it had been suspiciously long now. Mark decided to go look for him, and when he didn't find him in the men's room or near the counter, he began to worry. It wasn't like Jack to leave without a word unless something was wrong.  
  
Mark stepped outside, enjoying the slight cooling wind on his face. He hadn't even noticed how warm it had been inside the bar. It wasn't long before he saw Jack sitting on a bench in front of the building, and when he did, he walked up to the green haired man and sat down next to him, waiting if Jack would say something first, but he stayed silent.  
  
"We were wondering where you disappeared," Mark looked at the other and saw tears shimmering on his cheeks in the glow of a light pole, "did something happen? Did we say something?" Jack raised his head a bit.  
  
"No, it's not it, I just... I gotta tell you something," he spoke and straightened his back. "I'm not with Tyler anymore, he left me earlier today, I didn't wanna tell you 'cause I wanted to have fun tonight and I just, I-" his voice began to shake but he gathered himself and continued, "I can't even fucking go to a bar without him in my mind, I hate him so much, I'm so glad we're not together anymore, I'm really fucking relieved so why does he still make me fucking cry?!"  
  
Mark tried to think of a way to cheer him up, to let him know it wasn't his fault if his boyfriend was an asshole, that Jack was allowed to feel bad about the breakup even though he was in no way happy in that relationship.  
  
"It's normal to feel shitty after that, you know, don't blame yourself," Mark spoke, "whatever you do, please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." Jack looked at the ground.  
  
"He was there, in the bar. He said I'll never be enough to anyone," he felt tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, hating how Mark always saw him like this. The red haired man would certainly leave him at some point, why would he deal with Jack's shit when he probably had his own stuff to take care of? _I don't deserve him_ , the irishman thought and sighed.  
  
But before he could say more he felt a strong but gentle hand on the side of his head and then there were lips on his own and he felt like his heart was going to seriously pierce his chest from beating so hard, drowning out all the other noises from the bar and from the street in front of it. After recovering from the slight shock he let his eyes fall shut and kissed back, his head dizzy from trying to process what was happening. It ended as suddenly as it had begun as Mark pulled back, staring into the other's incredibly blue eyes that stared back.  
  
"You sure as hell are more than enough for me."  
  
  


* * *

  
  


"What's going on?" Cry pushed himself through the front door of the bar, trying not to shove other people around, which was quite impossible considering how crowded the entrance was. He almost walked into Ken, who quickly turned around and inhaled loudly.  
  
"I knew it!"  
  
"You knew what?"  
  
"Look!" They both turned to look at the direction Ken had been staring at before Cry had interrupted him.  
  
"So what is it?"  
  
"There," he pointed at a bench and the other saw it; their friends were there, sitting unusually close to each other, and if Ken didn't know better he would've thought they had some intense staring competition going on but he was sure his suspicions were right, especially after what he saw right before Cry had appeared.

"Yeah, what about them?" Cry leaned his elbow on Ken's shoulder and yawned.  
  
"If you had come out like ten seconds earlier you would've seen it," the bearded man said knowingly, "but they kissed." Cry looked at him in surprise.  
  
"You're tryna fool me!" He looked back at the two. He really wished he could hear what they were saying, and chuckled at himself, were they some 15 year old girls looking for a subject to gossip about? Apparently. "Did they actually? Let's go get some information about this," Cry was about to start walking towards the two but was stopped by Ken.  
  
"Are you dumb? Let's not ruin their moment!"  
  
  
  
It took a few moments for Jack to return to this world after the warm lips on his own changed to deep dark eyes staring at him. Though he tried, he couldn't detect what the other was thinking. Hell, he didn't even know what he himself was thinking. It wasn't anything negative at least, judging by the vibrant feeling in his chest, and though his heart was still banging against his ribcage he didn't feel like anything was wrong.

"Um, I'm... I, I mean," Jack managed to stutter as he fought against the urge to look away. "Yeah," Mark said in agreement, and they both burst into loud laughter. It felt so embarrassing and awkward but at the same time, so comfortable and somehow familiar.

"Sorry if that was weird," Mark spoke after a moment. Jack shook his head, "it wasn't." They turned to look at the street in front of them, the traffic wasn't bad since it was already over 10 pm. For some reason neither of them felt like they had to say anything, there was no pressure, and that made Jack feel happier than he had in such a long time. Mark turned a bit to look at the other and saw Jack smiling slightly at the ground. He was smiling because of Mark and that smile fitted him so much better than all the tears and bruises caused by the asshole that dared to call himself Jack's boyfriend until this morning.

Mark didn't want to rush things but he knew they would have to have this talk sooner or later, and he felt like this was the right moment, so he turned on the bench so he was facing Jack. The other looked up, still smiling, and Mark wanted to hug him but he had to focus on choosing the right words. He didn't want to scare Jack away.

"So, I was thinking... if that, um, kiss was okay," he began and ran a hand through his hair nervously, "are we- I mean, what do you... God, this is awkward," he sighed. Jack looked amused.  
  
"I don't know Mark, it's all happening so fast, I mean, not too fast but I'm confused, I'm really fucking confused right now, I feel like I can't form coherent sentences," he almost laughed again, "but what I do know for sure is that I like you. A lot." Mark stared at the other, not really knowing if he should kiss him again, he very much wanted to, but he didn't want to be intrusive if Jack didn't feel the same way he did. Mark mentally laughed at himself. Jack had just said he liked Mark a lot and there he was, wondering if he'd reject him.  
  
"Same," the red haired man spoke and leaned closer, if that was possible, and hugged the other. "I mean, I like you too, if that isn't obvious already." Jack chuckled at that.  
  
They both jerked away from each other when a loud whistle could be heard right behind them, followed by Cry clapping his hands and smiling broadly. Ken wasn't far behind, "sorry guys, I tried to stop him."  
  
Jack looked away, embarrassment visible on his face and Mark sighed, probably for the tenth time that night.  
  
  
  
The ride back to Mark's place was spent in silence, Jack fighting to stay awake, his eyelids falling shut every once in a while. Luckily for him it wasn't long before Mark parked the car and they walked inside the house, both yawning as Jack slumped against the sofa.  
  
"Tired, huh," Mark leaned against the living room wall. The irishman muttered something, closing his eyes and seemingly falling asleep. Mark smiled, picking up Jack's blanket from the floor and tucking him up. The red haired man was still trying to clarify his thoughts about the other, he didn't know if Jack wanted a relationship with him after everything he'd been through with Tyler. Mark frowned at the thought of Jack's former boyfriend and went into his own room, changing into his sleepwear. He would make sure Jack got the love he deserved.  
  
Mark felt shivers running down his spine. _Love._  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Jack opened his eyes slowly, waking up to the sound of rain falling onto the roof above him. He stood up and followed the faint smell of coffee, rubbing his eyes as he saw Mark in the kitchen.  
  
"Mornin'," the green haired man spoke, sitting down. He cleared his throat, surprised at how hoarse his voice was, and continued, "do you have work today?"  
  
"No, I have the whole weekend off, I thought we could ask if the guys wanna come here tonight. It's been a while since we played video games together, all five of us," Mark said, pouring some coffee for the both of them and sat down on a chair next to Jack.  
  
"Yeah... I've missed that," the irishman took a sip of his coffee and looked out the window. The rain didn't look like it would stop anytime soon and he sighed, it hadn't been sunny in a long time, at least it felt like it. Jack's thoughts drifted from the weather to the man next to him. He was so lucky to have someone like Mark in his life. Who knows, maybe he would still be with Tyler if the other hadn't stepped in. Mark had even let him stay over at his house and everything, that wasn't something everyone would do. Jack looked down. How long should he stay? His ex wasn't a threat to him anymore, was there a reason for him to stay here any longer? He suddenly remembered something.  
  
"I... I don't know if Tyler still has the key to my place," he looked at the red haired man. He had left his apartment so quickly the day before, he hadn't had the time to check if the blonde left the key there or not. "I'm gonna go to check if he left it there."  
  
"I can come with you if you'd like me to," Mark said, noticing the tiny amount of fear in the other, maybe he thought Tyler would appear from somewhere. Jack nodded. Neither of them had said a word about last night and that made Mark slightly anxious. Maybe Jack had changed his mind and wanted to forget the whole thing, he had said he was confused after all. On the other hand, Jack hadn't had anything to drink so the thing from last night couldn't have been a drunken mistake or anything like that.  
  
  
  
Mark kept his gaze strictly on the road as they drove towards Jack's place and tried to think about something else, he knew he and Jack had to sort things out at some point but he felt like it was always him who started the conversation, and he didn't want to make the other feel uncomfortable. They reached Jack's driveway and the irishman exited the car, heading towards his apartment, gesturing to Mark that he could wait. Mark decided to call Ken in the meantime. The phone beeped a couple of times before he answered.  
  
"Hello," Ken spoke, a suggestive tone in his voice.  
  
"Morning," Mark greeted him but after glancing at his watch realized it was already noon. "Are you and Felix free tonight? You should come over to my place, I thought we could play some games, it's been forever since the last time. If Felix is with Marzia then tell him she can come too. I'll also ask Cry."  
  
"Wow, slow down, I have some questions," Ken laughed and continued, "we can come. But what happened between you and Jack all of a sudden? I knew something was going on but to kiss him in the middle of the street? Smooth." Mark rolled his eyes, of course he'd have to explain everything to Ken. And Cry. He realized the evening was going to be more or less awkward no matter what he said.  
  
"I don't know what's going on," he scratched the back of his neck and glanced over at the front door of Jack's house. It had been suspiciously long considering he was supposed to just find the key and leave. "But I'm gonna have to go now, I'll call you."  
  
"You better."  
  
  
  
Jack stepped inside and looked around. This was supposedly his home but he couldn't help but feel like the place had an unpleasant atmosphere as he walked around, not finding what he was looking for. Maybe he felt the way he did because he'd had so many obnoxious experiences there, every single one of them including his former boyfriend. He shivered at the thought of him, the place reminded him way too clearly of everything they had done there. Or what Tyler had done without Jack's consent.  
  
He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the front door opening and closing behind him, so he gasped and jumped a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Whoa, sorry, didn't mean to startle you," the red haired man pulled his hand away, a concerned look on his face. "You were taking so long, I thought something wasn't right. Did you find the key?"  
  
"No, I think Tyler still has it, what does he need it for? He said he despises me," Jack wondered as he walked towards the door, the other man behind him.  
  
"I could talk to him," Mark spoke as he closed the door behind them and followed the irishman to his car. Jack seemed a bit taken aback by Mark's comment, but laughed it off, he didn't seem to realize the other was serious.  
  
Mark would gladly talk some sense into the blonde.  
  
  


* * *

  
  


"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you text Cry if he's free tonight? I called Ken and he said he and Felix are coming," Mark said after a few moments of silence as they drove back towards his house. He hadn't said anything after offering to get the key back from Tyler, and neither had Jack, so he thought he wouldn't push it.

"Sure," the other replied, not once looking at Mark, and took his phone.

"Um," the red haired man started but was cut off by what he saw on Jack's phone screen; his ex was calling. What did he want now? "Don't answer, you know he has nothing significant to say." Jack hesitated for a second but put his phone away at last.

"What were you saying?" he was now looking at Mark, who drove so he couldn't look back at Jack, which they were both slightly thankful for because talking felt so much easier when the eye contact wasn't there to distract the two. Mark tightened his grip on the steering wheel, why did he feel so nervous? This was Jack, nothing to get nervous about.

"I've been thinking," he began and paused to contemplate how he should express his thoughts, "what do you think about all of this? I know you would probably rather not talk about this judging by how silent you've been lately but this is really bugging me." Jack was quiet for a moment. He waited for Mark to park the car so they could get out, the rain had apparently stopped so they didn't have to rush to get inside the house.

"As I said, I'm really confused right now," he looked down, "I've just broken up with Tyler and he still has the key to my place which means he isn't done with me yet and I'm scared he'll just pop out of nowhere and I'm so fucking angry at myself for not being able to defend myself and I feel like you keep being nice to me just out of pity." Mark didn't say anything for a minute, processing what the other had said.

"Well, first of all, I'm being nice to you because I like you pretty damn much, I thought it was clear by now. And secondly, it's definitely not your fault that Tyler is a fucking idiot," he spoke, stepping closer to Jack, who now looked up.

"Yesterday, when you said I'm enough," the green haired man sounded hesitant, "did you mean it?"

"Why wouldn't I have meant it?"

"Sometimes people say things without meaning them," Jack looked down again and his words made Mark even angrier at Tyler. Who gave him permission to hurt Jack the way he had?

"I meant it, I swear I wouldn't say those things lightly," Mark said, waiting for Jack to look at him, but he didn't. "Hey. Would I kiss someone I didn't like?"

Jack raised his head, "would you?"

"No."

Jack didn't know what to say to that, he was sure his face was now a few shades more red than just a moment ago.  
  
"I don't- I don't know how to say this without sounding lame, but I really fucking like you too," he spoke, finding it difficult and at the same time irresistible to look the other in the eye. The whole situation felt kind of unreal and a little frightening, but somehow in a positive way.

"Can I kiss you?" Mark suddenly blurted out and Jack chuckled, he hadn't asked last night, why did he feel the need to do so now? Jack didn't answer, instead he wrapped his arms around the other's neck and leaned in so their lips slightly brushed, waiting for Mark to make the next move. And he did, putting his hands on Jack's back and drawing him closer.

The kiss lasted probably longer than what it felt like, both of them out of breath as they parted. Some kid rode past them with his bike and yelled that they were gross, which just made the two laugh.

"Should we go inside? I don't wanna disturb the neighborhood too much," Mark joked and started walking towards his apartment, Jack following behind him.

"Everyone's gonna be here soon, what're we gonna tell them?" Jack asked as he collected his stuff from the sofa, making some room for others to sit on. They had left the bar before Cry could bomb them with questions and except for that one phone call with Ken they hadn't said anything to their friends. They weren't sure if Felix knew anything about this at all. Now that they thought about it, Cry had probably told him. Of course he had.

"I don't know, should we just tell the truth?" Mark glanced at the other, a questioning look on his face. What was the truth? They didn't know it themselves.

"Yeah, um, so what are we gonna say?" the irishman looked puzzled. When he was done picking up his clothes and such he put them into his bag and put it aside. Were they together? In a sense. Were they officially dating? Jack was too scared to bring that up.

"Well, I like you and you like me and we kiss sometimes," Mark thought out loud, which made the other give a laugh, and he continued, "what would you call that?"

"Now that you say it like that, sounds like two sixth graders who just started dating," Jack spoke, amusement audible in his voice. Before he could think about it too much he blurted, "are we?"

"What?"

"Uh- dating?"

"If you want to."

Jack stared at the other for a few moments before nodding, "nice!" Mark laughed, only Jack would say that.  
  
  
  


After a while they heard someone knocking on the door and Mark rushed to open, it was Felix. He and Ken lived close to Mark so he had probably walked there.

"Hi, where's Ken?" Mark gestured to the other to come in and closed the door behind him.

"Cry's car broke down or some shit, Ken's gonna pick him up," Felix explained and took off his jacket, putting it in a rack next to the front door, "this is like the third time in a couple of months, I don't know how he puts up with it."

"I could take a look at it," the red haired man laughed and thought about it for a moment, he fixed cars and such for a living after all, "though I'm not sure if anyone has any chance to actually fix it. It's a threat to the surrounding traffic."

Not long after that Ken and Cry arrived and for Jack and Mark's surprise, none of them asked anything about the previous night during the whole evening. They played a couple of games, and though they also talked about the stuff in their lives, the conversation never led to what had been going on between the two of them. That made Jack feel partly relieved but kind of disappointed too, he had wanted to get this out of the way since they were all there and it would've been the easiest way to tell them now. Quite possibly the most embarrassing too.

On the other hand, they had just started this, and since their friends hadn't forced them to say anything, Jack thought it might be best to just let it be for a while. They weren't in a hurry or anything. Everything had happened so fast and he was still a bit confused.

It was about 11 pm when Cry said he had to leave, he didn't want to be completely lifeless the next day since he didn't have the whole weekend off. And because Ken had driven him to Mark's place, he and Felix went too, leaving Jack and Mark to pick up their soda cans from the floor.

"Typical," Mark muttered under his breath as he watched the others go.  
  
"I can't believe this," Jack said and slumped on the sofa, stretching his arms and leaning his head on the back of the sofa. "A week ago, I never would've thought we would end up together."

"You're saying you weren't interested before? Don't even try," the other spoke and sat down next to Jack, putting his hand around his shoulders, still slightly worried if he'd refuse the physical contact, but he didn't.

"No, I meant I didn't think you'd actually like me that way," Jack sighed quietly and leaned on Mark's side, "I feel like you're too good to me." The red haired man found himself once again mentally raging at Tyler, that asshole wouldn't come near Jack ever again if it depended on him.

"I said you're more than enough, please don't think about anything Tyler has said, he just wants you to feel bad," Mark tried to make the other believe it but that wouldn't happen overnight and he knew it.  
  
But he'd say it over and over again for as many times as he has to.  
  
  


* * *

  
  


"Well fuck," an annoyed voice could be heard from the doorway of the living room, and a messy blob of green hair rose from behind the back of the sofa.

"You okay?" Jack looked at the other, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He glanced at the clock on the wall in front of him and saw that it was already half past eleven. He should start using an alarm clock or something, his sleeping schedule hadn't been the best lately since he didn't have much work to do now that the publishers he worked for hadn't had much to offer. He had enough money to live though, he didn't spend that much, so it wasn't really a problem.  
  
"Did I wake you up again? Sorry," Mark looked up from the phone he had in his hands, "I gotta go to work for a couple of hours today, Mikey got sick. Jack nodded. Michael, or Mikey, was one of Mark's friends from high school and he'd been to a couple of bars with Jack and the others but they still didn't know him that well.  
  
"Okay, I think I could do some housework in the meantime," the irishman spoke as he stood up, taking his blanket and folding it.  
  
"You don't have to," Mark put on his coat and took his keys from the living room table.  
  
"You've let me stay here for several days already without me doing anything, I wanna help."  
  
"Well, if you say so. The hoover is in a closet next to my desk in my room, I think you'll find it. I'll be going now, bye," the red haired man waved and left the house. Jack brushed his hair so it wouldn't look like a bird's nest like it usually did in the mornings and got to work.  
  
  
  
"Heeello," Mark heard his friend's voice from the garage as he walked in.  
  
"Sam? I thought I was gonna be the only one here," he said and looked over at the black haired woman who was already handing him some papers. She was one of the few workers there.  
  
"Hah, you're not. You'll have to put up with me," she turned around and washed her hands in a sink next to a messy table, or more accurately a pile of stuff, the table couldn't be seen under it. She continued, "there'll be a few more customers more than usual today. I could use some extra hands."  
  
"I was told I would be needed here for just a few hours though."  
  
"And that's true. If I had to do all of this alone," Sam pointed at the papers she had given him, "I would be here all day. I have plans for this Sunday, you know."  
  
"Sure you have. Let me guess, it's got something to do with your sofa and Netflix," Mark chuckled, taking off his coat and switching into his work clothes. Sam rolled her eyes.  
  
"I'll let you know that I actually met someone a few weeks ago. This might be love," she sighed and Mark laughed. Sam had dark short hair with an undercut on the other side of her head and Mark didn't think he'd ever seen her wearing anything other than black. She didn't look like a hopeless romantic but she totally was one. "And she's coming over to my place tonight. Wish me luck."  
  
"You met someone without telling me? Rude," Mark joked. "But seriously though, we should get to work, I don't wanna waste time talking about your one-night stands."  
  
"It wasn't a one-night thing! We're meeting for the fourth time today," Sam spoke and walked over to the car that they'd change the tires of first. Mark looked down at the papers and a familiar name caught his eye. This was Tyler's car.  
  
He wasn't going to do his job badly and cause an accident though, he wouldn't sink so low, as much as he wanted to get revenge on the blonde for hurting Jack. But doing that wasn't the way to pay back, they were adults for god's sake. After the first two new tires were in place, he had an idea. Tyler was going to come here to get his car back sooner or later, that would be Mark's chance to talk to him.  
  
  
  
"Shit," Jack yelped as he accidentally cut his arm on a sharp edge of some can in the trash while trying to stuff the garbage lower so that he could close the bag and take it out. It wasn't a big cut so he wiped the few drops of blood off and continued cleaning the house, though it wasn't very messy to begin with, unlike his own apartment, but he didn't really have anything else to do.  
  
_I wonder what Tyler tried to call me about_ , he thought as he threw the bag of trash in a bin outside. What if he had tried to return the key? As obnoxious as the idea was, Jack decided to call the blonde back. He walked back inside and twiddled his phone in his hands for a minute before calling.  
  
"Wow, wasn't expecting you to call me," Tyler answered and the irishman could just _see_ the other's smug smile in his head.  
  
"I can't believe I'm calling you either," Jack sighed and sat down in the kitchen, "but if you tried to call me about the key yesterday, I would like to get it back now."  
  
"Really?  
  
"What?"  
  
"I bet you miss me."  
  
"Tyler-"  
  
"You should've answered me yesterday," the blonde spoke before Jack could continue, "maybe I was gonna give the key back."  
  
"You do realize I can just get the lock changed, right?"  
  
"You're boring."  
  
"Just- can you just put it into my mail box or something? I don't wanna be in contact with you anymore."  
  
"You suck at lying."  
  
"I'm not lying."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Bye," Jack ended the call and put his phone down, talking to Tyler made his mood so much worse.  
  
  
  
Mark was arranging his bottles of window-cleaning fluids and anti-freeze liquids when he heard someone coming in and slamming the door behind them.  
  
"Bad day?" he asked, thinking it was just another annoyed customer getting their car back but as he looked over his shoulder his face became more serious. Tyler was there. Mark walked over to him and handed the blonde his car keys, all the while looking at him, trying to keep down his irritation.  
  
"You could say so," Tyler raised his eyebrow and took the keys, "none of your business though." He seemed to remember who Mark was.  
  
"I'd suggest you to leave Jack alone," the red haired man spoke, his voice low and serious. Tyler's expression didn't change at all.  
  
"Or what? You're gonna end me?" the blonde mocked and walked towards his car, "he's with you just to be with someone."  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Oh? How can you be so sure, you don't know a thing about what he had with me," Tyler said and snorted.  
  
"I know enough. There's no way in hell he'll ever come back to you. Besides, I heard that it was actually you who left him, why can't you just let him be? And about the key to his place, you don't need it, what are you trying to prove by keeping it?" Mark tried to stay calm, there were so many things he would've liked to rage about to the other.  
  
"One fucking key and you two are crowding me like crazy," Tyler spoke and threw the key at Mark, "there." He got into his car and drove off.  
  
"Who's crowding whom?" Mark said to himself and turned around, ready to head home.  
  
  
  
Jack had tried to ignore the small cut on his arm but every time he looked at it, it reminded him of his former boyfriend and the bruises he had left. Most of them weren't even visible anymore and he couldn't help but feel like a part of him was missing. He shook his head, what the hell? He didn't miss Tyler, that was the most obvious thing ever. He had felt increasingly anxious ever since he called the blonde. His hands were shaking and that rarely happened, not even when the other had threatened to hit him. He walked to the living room, sat onto the sofa that had become alarmingly familiar to him and traced his fingers over the cut slowly, then adding pressure, and kept doing that until his mind felt clearer.  
  
When would Mark come back? Jack had realized that even a short period of not being with the other made him miss the company. It had only been like four hours, jeez. He was about to take his phone from the table in front of the sofa but stopped and gasped when he saw his left arm; he had seemingly scratched the cut too hard and it started bleeding again. Not much though, but now he had a red area on his arm that he himself had inflicted and Mark would surely freak out if he saw it. Fuck. Should he hide it from the other? Could he?  
  
His heart felt like it skipped a beat when he heard the front door open.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Jack quickly got up and fumbled with his bag of clothes until he found his grey hoodie and put it on over his t-shirt. He didn't think he had ever put on a piece of clothing as fast as he just did. He turned to look at the door and saw Mark right in front of him and he might have winced a little in surprise but the other hadn't seemed to notice, which made Jack mentally sigh in relief.  
  
"Is something wrong?" God, Jack hated it when Mark got worried about him, he didn't want others to waste time on him, he was fine. But the red haired man kept looking at him with concern and it seemed so sincere that it always made Jack feel like he was important and he didn't remember ever feeling like that with Tyler. He looked at Mark and threw the thought of the blonde right out the window.  
  
"Why would anything be wrong?" he spoke, still looking at the other, not sure if he could keep that up though. He also hated it when he lied to Mark but fortunately he rarely did that. On second thought, maybe Mark had seen him rushing to put the hoodie on, why else would he be asking that? Fuck. The third thing Jack hated to do was trying to come up with excuses when he lied and he knew he really shouldn't be doing that, Mark didn't deserve his dishonesty. Mark deserved something so much better than him but there he was, looking at him with _so much fucking concern_ that it made Jack want to disappear right then and there.  
  
"I don't know, you tell me."  
  
_Okay, he definitely saw it_ , Jack looked down and tried to think of something, anything really, to convince the other that everything was fine. But his head felt suddenly empty and now that he had been silent for a bit longer than he normally would, he was sure Mark wouldn't let this be. He shifted from one leg to another and decided to just say what happened, this was Mark, Jack wouldn't get punched for saying something that the other didn't want to hear.  
  
"I cut my arm on a can in the trash and unintentionally scratched it so now it looks worse than it really is and I didn't want you to get mad so I tried to hide it," he said in one breath and looked up. Mark seemed to think about something for a second before sighing, his expression changing from worried to almost sad.  
  
"Jack."  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"I wouldn't get mad because of something like that. You have to remember I'm not like Tyler, I'd never hurt you, I was just worried. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me."  
  
"I- I know."  
  
"And I know you've been through some upsetting stuff not so long ago but please don't ever think I'd be like that."  
  
"I don't... I don't deserve you," Jack felt a familiar lump in his throat and prayed to all possible gods out there to help him not to cry. The fourth thing he hated was crying in front of other people, he wasn't good at holding back, especially not now when Mark was looking at him with those eyes that always made Jack feel like he wasn't completely useless, like someone actually wanted him to be okay.  
  
"Why not?" Mark stepped closer, probably about to hug him, then halting as Jack slightly winced away from him, but Mark still noticed it and he didn't want to make the other feel the least bit uncomfortable. He didn't think Jack's reaction was intentional but he wouldn't force him, he'd never do that. Jack's past relationship had apparently caused him to react to sudden approaches like that, which wasn't surprising but made Mark want to, without a word of a lie, slaughter the asshole that had caused Jack to lose his trust in others.  
  
Jack didn't say anything after that, he didn't think he could without sounding weak, he hated sounding weak and he hated it when people saw him in that state. For some reason though, he didn't feel nearly as anxious as he usually did now that Mark was around but it still was an unpleasant situation and he wanted it to be over.  
  
"I'm sorry," Mark said evenly. "But hey," he put his hand into his pocket, reaching for something, "I got the key back from Tyler." He handed it to the other.  
  
"How did you...?" Jack looked at the key and then at Mark.  
  
"I asked for it and he literally threw it at me."  
  
"Wow," the green haired man put the key into his bag, smiling faintly at the other. He didn't know why the blonde had suddenly given up so easily but to be honest, he didn't care.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Jack wasn't sure when exactly it had begun or why he had started doing it but at some point after accidentally cutting his arm on the notorious can in the trash, he had caught himself partly unintentionally scraping his nails over the small scarring wound every now and then whenever he felt anxious. It was mostly at night in his own apartment, he had returned there after spending a few nights at Mark's house. As much as he enjoyed the other's company he still wanted to have some time on his own, he didn't want to become too attached.  
  
Even though his ex didn't have access to his place anymore, he still felt quite uneasy and unsettled at times. The apartment reminded him of the times they were together and though he tried to get the blonde out of his head, he really tried to, nothing worked. Except for the thing he knew he shouldn't be doing, it wasn't at all a good way to cope with what he felt but he didn't know how else he would get himself to calm down.  
  
Some nights he called Mark and that helped a lot, it helped more than the things he usually did, but he couldn't help but feel like he was a burden to the other. Mark had said he wasn't but that's what he would say anyway, no matter what he actually thought, right?  
  
Jack was laying on his sofa, not bothering to turn the TV off, it almost distracted him from thinking about negative stuff as he stared at the ceiling. He fiddled the remote in his hands and turned his head to look at the clock, it was apparently almost two at night. Great, another sleepless night ahead. He sighed and tried to think about something nice instead of looking around his apartment and remembering Tyler every time he saw something that even slightly reminded him of the other.  
  
He felt a surge of anxiety flow through him and he wanted to scratch his nails on his arms or thighs or any part of his body to prevent the unpleasant feeling. But he didn't, he knew how stupid it was to voluntarily harm his perfectly healthy body when doing that wouldn't even fix anything, it only helped for a minute until the anxiety came back. He put his hands into his jean pockets, hoping to keep them in place, and felt something with his fingers. He pulled out a piece of paper from his left pocket and looked at it with curiosity.  
  
'I forgot to mention I had work at the repair shop today, I'll be back by 3. There's food in the fridge. Make yourself at home :) -Mark'  
  
Jack remembered the morning he had last read the note and smiled instantly. His chest didn't feel so heavy anymore, he didn't know how a small text written by Mark could make him feel so much better, it was like some kind of magic. He clenched the piece of paper in his hands and buried himself under a blanket, feeling surprisingly peaceful as he fell asleep, not caring about how disgustingly syrupy his reaction probably was.  
  
All nights weren't that easy though. At times he'd just lay in bed or on the sofa, staring at nothing in particular, trying to take his thoughts away from his past relationship and the possibility that maybe Mark would leave him too. Deep down he knew the red haired man wasn't like Tyler, Mark wouldn't be with him just to hurt him, Mark had said he liked him and cared about him and that's what Jack tried to focus on but he couldn't, not when the thoughts of the blonde circled in his head, making him feel sad and worthless and alone, and it was so difficult to get rid of those thoughts.  
  
Some nights he'd stare at himself through the mirror in his bathroom, pointing out every single flaw he could think of, trying to figure out what it was about him that had made Tyler treat him so badly. It couldn't be just because Tyler was a shitty person, there had to be something more. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about this, that he shouldn't speculate, but he couldn't stop it from making its way into his head; would Mark eventually see him like Tyler had? The blonde was good to him at first, how could he be sure Mark wouldn't do the same?  
  
He shook his head and walked out of the bathroom. He knew Mark, he knew how kind and caring he was, he wouldn't hurt Jack, there was no way he would ever do anything to make Jack feel the way he had felt with Tyler. It had been two weeks since he left Mark's place and they had met a few times during those days. Jack had put Mark's note on his fridge door to remind him he would be okay, no matter how bad his anxiety grew and that there was always someone he could count on when he felt worse than usual.  
  
He sat down on the sofa again, looking at his phone on the table in front of him. Should he call Mark? Jack felt the urge to take something sharp and run it across his skin, he had already done it a couple of times on his arm above his elbow. He didn't cut too deep, just a few scratches to make him feel it. They faded quickly. He wanted to stop but he had no other way to make the feeling end, except for Mark. He always made Jack feel better no matter how low his mood was, and he decided to call instead of finding anything sharp.  
  
"Hello?" a sleepy voice spoke after the phone had beeped a few times. Jack was quiet for a second before taking in a shaky breath.  
  
"I'm sorry I woke you."  
  
"Jack? I don't mind," Mark yawned. The green haired man quieted again, he hadn't thought about how he would tell Mark about this. Should he say he just wasn't feeling well? Should he tell everything?  
  
"Jack?" Mark sounded worried. Once again.  
  
"I'm- I don't-" the irishman tried to collect himself, not really succeeding, and blurted out, "I feel like I wanna hurt myself."  
  
"What?" the other spoke after a few moments of silence, "I mean, don't."  
  
"I won't, I know I shouldn't, I'm so sorry for bothering you, it's late and-"  
  
"Jack."  
  
"...yeah?"  
  
"You can call me anytime, day or night, you're not bothering me. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow, do you want me to come over?"  
  
"I... you don't have to."  
  
"I can."  
  
"...okay," Jack felt a little guilty for making the other drive all the way to his place in the middle of the night but a part of him was relieved, he wouldn't have to be alone with his thoughts for now. Mark said he'd be there in half an hour.  
  
  
  
Jack opened the door and Mark walked in, neither of them saying anything, and when Jack closed the door behind them he muttered a faint 'hi', avoiding Mark's eyes.  
  
"Are you okay?" Mark asked, taking off his jacket. His hair was all over the place and his voice still sounded a bit sleepy, and Jack felt guilty again.  
  
"Now that you're here," Jack said, "better."  
  
"What did you mean when you said you wanted to hurt yourself?"  
  
"I- I get really anxious at times," he looked anywhere but at Mark, "and I don't know how to calm down without distracting myself with physical pain. It's not bad, just a couple of small scratches here and there, but I'm scared it'll get out of hand."  
  
"I don't want you to do that," Mark looked at him with _too much worry_ , "can I do something? I mean, can I help somehow?"  
  
"Just- just, don't leave."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere."  
  
  


* * *

  
  


They hadn't said anything except for the talk at the door since Mark came there. He was now half sitting, half lying on the sofa, Jack leaning on him, both in their own thoughts until he spoke.  
  
"Jack?"

"Hmm?" the green haired man raised his head a little but didn't look the other in the eye.  
  
"Does this happen often?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"This," Mark quieted for a second, "I mean, I assume this wasn't the first time you felt bad like this."  
  
"It's... it happens mostly at night when I can't sleep," Jack stared at the table in front of the sofa, his heart began beating faster than just a moment ago and he didn't know if he should tell Mark everything, he didn't want to lie or keep anything secret from the other. At the same time he felt like Mark would find him annoying if he told everything, he felt like he was always whining about how Mark was too good for him and such, the other always convincing him that it wasn't true, that Jack deserved all the good in the world. But Mark had said that Jack could tell him anything and that he shouldn't have to feel like he had to hide things, so maybe he could talk about this openly, maybe it would help.  
  
"I can't help but feel like there's something wrong with me, everything went so well with Tyler at first but then it changed. Maybe when he got to know me better he saw something about me that he hated? I can't think of any other explanation."  
  
"I can. He's a fucking idiot," Mark spoke a little louder than before and seemed to notice that, lowering the volume of his voice, "don't think about him. He isn't worth it."  
  
"No, you don't get it, I can't ignore the thoughts, everything here reminds me of him. That lamp," Jack pointed at a partly broken lamp on a chest of drawers in the corner of the living room, "he dropped it once as he yelled at me. I should've gotten a new one but he didn't let me. And the walls, I think he has punched them almost as many times as he has punched me." Mark was silent for a moment, he felt like his head was going to explode from how much hatred he felt towards the blonde. He knew there was nothing he could do to make his actions undone but he still found himself trying to find a way. It was so unfair that Jack had had to go through it. Before he could think of something to say he heard Jack continue.  
  
"Every time I look at the clock I remember how he always came here at around 8 in the evening after his shift at work ended. I can't even sleep in my own bed without-" he stopped talking and Mark felt him stiffen against his side. He didn't have to hear the end of what Jack was saying, he knew. And it made him so incredibly angry. He tried his best to keep his feelings at bay, he didn't want to be angry when Jack was there to see it, and even though he wasn't angry at Jack, that would surely remind the irishman of his ex and Mark didn't want that.  
  
"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Mark spoke, he didn't really know what he should say to make Jack feel better. "You shouldn't be alone though. You could stay at my place for a while if you want to?" He had considered inviting himself over to Jack's place but since the apartment apparently reminded the other of unpleasant stuff, he decided not to.  
  
"If it doesn't bother you."  
  
"It doesn't. The only thing that bothers me is the possibility that you're not okay," Mark shifted slightly, careful not to press his elbow against Jack's back. "Let's go there tomorrow. Or technically today. Anyway, you gotta get some sleep."  
  
"Hmm," Jack hummed shortly and closed his eyes, the other's company had made him calm down so he fell asleep not long after that.  
  
  
  
"Hey," Jack put down his cup of coffee and looked at Mark as they sat in the latter's kitchen, it was now 2 pm. They had woken up a bit late that morning on Jack's sofa and after the irishman had packed his stuff they had driven to Mark's place. Jack's mood had risen from last night and they hadn't talked about it much now that he felt better, Mark didn't want to force the other. They would talk when Jack felt like talking.  
  
"It's been several weeks now, I was thinking- how do you really feel about me?" There was no sign of sadness or doubt in Jack's voice, which made Mark smile a bit.  
  
"As I've said many times by now, I like you a lot," he spoke and took a sip of his coffee. Jack seemed to be pleased with the answer.  
  
"So you wanna be with me? I mean, you think this would work?"  
  
"Totally."  
  
Jack seemed to think about something for a few seconds and after a while he opened his mouth to say something but shut it. Mark looked at him questioningly and gestured that he could continue.  
  
"Do you... do you wanna tell our friends?" Jack looked at him and a glimpse of hesitation could be seen in his expression.  
  
"If you want to, I'm fine with them knowing. Though I think it won't come as a surprise," Mark gave a short laugh. He may or may not have talked with Ken on the phone, and he may or may not have told him that he really liked Jack. He hadn't said anything else, he thought he'd ask Jack if he was okay with it, but the other asked first.  
  
"So," Jack smiled and leaned back on his chair, "we're official then, aren't we?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Jack was looking out of a large window as his friends chatted around him, his hand almost touching Mark's under a table as they sat in the café that they hadn't visited in a while. Everyone was there, Jack himself, Mark, Felix, Cry and Ken, and for the first time in ages Jack felt like everything in his life was where it should be. It was raining outside again but it didn't bother him, not in the slightest.  
  
He and Mark told everyone that they had started dating but like Mark had said, no one was surprised. They had apparently known all along but hadn't asked about it since they had been sure the two would say it sooner or later.  
  
Jack wasn't paying much attention to the conversation around him, he was looking at the spot on the street outside where Tyler had met the woman before, and for some reason he felt no anxiety. He realized that he didn't actually care at all, and that made him widen his smile a little. He felt so relieved to finally be able to forget the blonde, and though he still felt bad when he was alone in his apartment, he knew he would get through it. He would get through anything now that he had Mark.  
  
"It went well," Mark chuckled as he opened the door to his place and walked in, Jack following not far behind. "To be honest, I don't know what I was expecting. Of course it went well."  
  
"Yeah," Jack took off his slightly wet jacket and looked at the other. Mark hadn't asked about last night yet and the irishman was sure he would at some point. As happy as he was right now, he partly wanted to talk about the negative stuff. He had noticed that whenever he spoke to Mark about those things, they didn't feel so unbearable anymore.

"I wanna talk."  
  
"Please tell me we're not breaking up already," Mark laughed and they settled on the sofa, unnecessarily close to each other considering there was space for at least three people. Jack smiled and continued.  
  
"No, I just wanna say that I don't want you to think-" he trailed off, not knowing how to make the other understand. "How do I say this... I mean, I really wanna be with you and I don't want you to think I'm some kind of fragile flower that's made of glass," he mentally slapped himself for that metaphor, "and I want you to know that just because Tyler has done some things, it doesn't mean I'm gonna freak out if you do them." Another mental slap. It was so hard to actually say what he wanted the other to understand.  
  
"Okay," Mark said after a few seconds of silence. "I'm not sure if I get it but okay." He thought about something for a while.  
  
"I also want to tell you something. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything when you're with me, I want you to tell me if something makes you uncomfortable."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And," Mark looked at the other more seriously now, "we can take this as slow as you want to. We don't have to rush, you know." Jack nodded and leaned his head on the back of the sofa. How was he this lucky? How the fuck did he get to be with someone like Mark? After a while of just laying there, Mark swirling his fingers in Jack's hair, the irishman raised his head to say something.  
  
"Mark."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I wanna give you something," Jack shifted so he could take something from his back pocket. He placed a key to Mark's hand and smiled at him, "you should have that now."  
  
"Are you sure?" The red haired man looked surprised for a moment as he realized it was the key to Jack's place before putting it onto the table in front of them.  
  
"I'm sure." Mark looked at the key and then at Jack, leaning in a little and as he saw no signs of discomfort, he put his hand around the other's shoulders and kissed him, Jack kissing back. The green haired man opened his mouth a bit and allowed more access to the other. It lasted longer than before and started to become more heated, more passionate, and both of them noticed that. Mark pulled away and looked at the other questioningly, and it wasn't long before Jack put his hand on Mark's neck and pulled him in for another kiss, this one more intense than the first.  
  
"Are you- are you really sure about this?" Mark spoke as they parted, slightly out of breath. Jack was looking at him with those incredibly blue eyes that he knew he wouldn't be able to resist.  
  
"I've never been this sure about anything."  
  
"If you say so," Mark kissed him again and the other let out a small moan as Mark put his hands on Jack's hips, helping him get on his lap, thighs on both sides of Mark's hips. He caressed his hands up Jack's sides, urging the hem of his shirt upwards, their lips connected the whole time. Mark wanted to take it off completely but he waited for Jack to do it himself, he didn't want to be too pushy in case Jack would back off. Actually, he was pretty sure that wasn't gonna happen judging by how eagerly the other was wrapping his hands around Mark's shoulders.  
  
Mark groaned somewhere deep in his chest as Jack began to grind his hips down slightly, resting his forehead on Mark's shoulder, breathing heavily.  
  
"We should-" Mark spoke, his voice lower than usual, "the bedroom." Jack mumbled an incoherent 'fuck yeah' into his ear.  
  
Mark wasn't sure how they got there without breaking anything but after stumbling through the apartment they were in his room, his hands on Jack's sides, his lips on Jack's lips and all of it felt so right. He stepped back and took his shirt off over his head, throwing it somewhere, Jack didn't look where but he didn't care.  
  
"Wow," he looked at Mark, head to toe, and frowned a bit at the other's still clothed lower body. He himself was still fully clothed so he quickly took his shirt off and dropped it onto the floor, and then Mark was all over him again and Jack could feel his body heat and he wanted to feel that against himself forever.  
  
Mark gave a laugh at the other's comment but didn't leave him much time to say more as he put his hands around Jack again, gently pushing him backwards until the green haired man fell onto Mark's bed with a small thud. Quickly after that Mark was on him, kissing from his lips to his neck and urging his legs open with his hand, his other hand next to Jack's side, leaning onto the bed to keep himself up. Jack let the other settle between his legs, and as Mark began thrusting his hips just a little, sucking slightly on Jack's neck, he swore he was in heaven because this couldn't be happening.  
  
A short while later Jack put his hand on Mark's chest, pushing him up a bit.  
  
"Take your jeans off," he almost panted and Mark complied, fumbling with his belt for a second before throwing the jeans aside. He did the same to Jack's and soon enough they were out of their underwear too, heated kisses here and there, both of their hands wandering around each other's bodies.

Mark began grinding down again, their cocks sliding against one another, and Jack's hand was in the other's hair, his breath hitching, and Mark returned to sucking at his neck. There would surely be faint bruises after this but the small whines and moans coming from Jack were so worth it.  
  
Jack felt like he couldn't think straight, this was something he didn't remember experiencing with anyone else. Especially not with Tyler, he never cared about what Jack was feeling during sex, despite what he had said about 'making him feel good' and all that bullshit. But Jack didn't want to think about the blonde now, not ever to be honest. He thrust up slightly to match Mark's pace, his hands in the other's hair, tugging a bit.  
  
"Do you have- hhah, do you have lube?" Jack said between moans, trying to sound like Mark's actions weren't affecting him so much but failed. Mark stopped moving and Jack wanted to _yell_ at him to continue but he spoke.  
  
"You sure you wanna go all the way?"  
  
"Fucking _yes_ I'm sure, you prick," Jack hissed and Mark laughed, reaching over to his bedside table, taking a small bottle from the top drawer. He hadn't used it yet, it had been quite silent in his bedroom for the last few months since he hadn't had a serious relationship in years. He had kept the lube there, let's say, just in case. Now he was very thankful for his past self for buying it.  
  
He poured a small amount on his fingers, circling Jack's entrance and put one in as gently as he could, and when Jack nodded, he added another and then third finger, and after that Jack was convinced this wasn't true. Without a word of a lie, this was the best sex he had ever had, and they hadn't even gotten to the main thing yet.  
  
Mark pressed his fingers against the other's prostate as he found it and Jack moaned louder than he had this far, his toes curling and his eyes fluttering shut.  
  
"Come on, I'm- ah, fuck, Mark, I'm ready," he spoke, holding back his groans, and he didn't have time to complain about the loss of Mark inside of him as the redhead lined up with his hole and pushed in with a deep grunt. Mark had put on a condom at some point, Jack hadn't noticed. His hands gripped the sheet below him and his mouth opened a little but nothing came out, he felt like he forgot to breathe. It wasn't at all unpleasant but he had to adjust to the feeling or it would be. Mark leaned down and kissed him messily, waiting for Jack's permission to move and Jack almost cried because it had never been like that with any of the few guys he had been with.  
  
He moved his hips slightly, messaging to Mark that it was okay to move, and he did. He started with slow thrusts but as Jack grew impatient, he sped up his movements, and Jack didn't ever bother to hold back his moans and groans. He wrapped his arms around the other, scratching his back a little with his short nails, he didn't want to hurt Mark but _dear god_ he needed to hold onto something, he felt like he couldn't even talk coherently anymore.  
  
He kissed Mark sloppily, allowing the other to push his tongue in, and as Mark raised the force of his thrusts and began stroking him with his hand he felt like he was going to actually pass out, he didn't know how the other had managed to make him feel so unbelievably good but judging by Mark's own groans, it was mutual.  
  
All of it was so fast and almost rough but they didn't care, they had all the time in the world to go slow some other time.  
  
"Mark- I'm- _Mark_ ," Jack couldn't get whole sentences out of his mouth but Mark seemed to understand, continuing his movements, lowering his head to suck on the spot on Jack's neck that he had sucked on before. Jack tightened his grip on the other's back, his head falling back and thighs shaking as he came, and it must've been the most powerful orgasm he had ever had because when Mark slumped on the bed next to him, he was still dizzy and kind of in a haze.  
  
They were panting slightly and when Jack's mind felt clearer, he smiled at Mark, opening his mouth to say something.

"I- I wouldn't call that 'taking it slow'."

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
